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It can be disappointing and frustrating when kids don’t meet the expectations you’ve set
out for them based on your values. When the same mistake is repeated over and over
again, you may begin to lose hope. It’s natural to begin thinking of your child in a less
positive light.
For example, if your child continuously does poorly in school, you may begin to think of
him as a poor student. It may be true that your child struggles frequently.
However, when you begin to think of him as a bad student, he will see himself that way,
too.
Treating him like he’s going to fail or have another bad semester will often be a self-fulfilling
prophecy. Treating your child as though he has already failed is not likely to lead
to success.
There was once a study done at a school where teachers were given two different groups
of students:
● The teachers were told that Group A was a group of bad influences
and students who struggle.
Unbeknownst to the teachers, this group was actually comprised of high-achievers.
● Group B was said to be a group of outstanding students with good
behaviour. In fact, the opposite was true.
The study found that teachers treated these groups of students differently.
Teachers treated these students according to their beliefs about how
successful these students were going to be.
As a result, the previously high-performing students in Group A began
having behavioural issues and doing poorly in school. The previously less-successful
students began performing better in school and earning better
grades...........
The 8 Parenting Guide goes into more detail with more useful tips. Check out our E-Guides
Life is in a constant flow of success and failure, of happiness and disappointment. This is the nature of life. It is uncomfortable and difficult, but going through difficulty builds resilience.
If you find that your child has made a mistake, you may want to comfort them and solve the problem for them.
Let your child hold the tension.
This will continue to help them take responsibility for their actions. When
they’re able to feel the feelings that go along with making the mistake, they’ll be able to
evaluate their values and learn what it feels like when they are or are not acting in
accordance with those values.
When you come in to save the day when something goes wrong, your child will begin to
think that he can’t solve problems without you. This could lead to feelings of helplessness
and doubt in the future.
When you let your child have ownership of the mistake, you teach them that you know
they can handle it.
The 8 Parenting Guide goes into more detail with more useful tips. Check out our E-Guides
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