Life is in a constant flow of success and failure, of happiness and disappointment. This is the nature of life. It is uncomfortable and difficult, but going through difficulty builds resilience.

If you find that your child has made a mistake, you may want to comfort them and solve the problem for them.

Let your child hold the tension.

This will continue to help them take responsibility for their actions. When

they’re able to feel the feelings that go along with making the mistake, they’ll be able to

evaluate their values and learn what it feels like when they are or are not acting in

accordance with those values.

When you come in to save the day when something goes wrong, your child will begin to

think that he can’t solve problems without you. This could lead to feelings of helplessness

and doubt in the future.

When you let your child have ownership of the mistake, you teach them that you know

they can handle it.

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You’re the first source of knowledge for your kids. It is your job to prepare them

for success in the real world. Part of this process means teaching your kids that

there are consequences for all of your actions.

You may see your child be friendly to someone and then make a friend. This is

a teachable moment where you can show your child that when you are kind and

respectful, good things happen. Valuable teachable moments also come about

when children do not meet expectations.

Hold the Line

If your child fails a test, you can implement consequences.

Consequences are most impactful when they have a direct relation to the action.

For example, it might not make sense to make your child do the dishes every day

for failing a test. Instead, it may be more appropriate to limit free time and

increase study time.

This is a good time to teach your child another valuable lesson: we must take

responsibility for our actions. Holding your kids accountable for their

actions will teach them to own up to their mistakes in the future. It’s helpful

to talk through the reasoning behind these consequences so your child understands why she is expected to meet expectations, and what happens when expectations are not met..............

Looking for more information and strategies on being firm and fair?

The 8 Parenting Guide goes into more detail with more useful tips. Check out our E-Guides.

Updated: Nov 3


As children grow older, they begin exploring their own identities. This can lead to a bit of distance between you and your child. This can be hurtful. You have worked so hard and you may sometimes feel unappreciated. Some parents try to connect with their kids by becoming lenient and acting more like a friend than a parent.

Though kids may respond well to this, it actually doesn’t benefit them in the long run. A lack of structure can lead your kids off track. As a parent, you’re responsible for your kid’s safety, health, and future. This can seem like a daunting task, but it is possible after you have implemented your values and expectations for your family.

Acting according to your values means setting clear boundaries.

Your kids will test the limits as they try to gain more independence. Having your boundaries in mind as they grow in new directions can help you remain calm and consistent through a tumultuous time.

Set and stick to boundaries

When children don’t meet the family expectations, it’s time to uphold your values, your boundaries, and your authority.

When your kids are testing the limits and begin talking back to you, do your best not to take it personally. If your child is frustrated with you, he may lash out in disrespectful ways.

Do your best to keep your cool in these heated situations.

Even though your children are unpredictable and emotional, you can still maintain stability for them by remaining consistent.

When you remain calm, your kids will pick up on this. Though they may be going through a difficult time, they will apply what they learn from you to their future situations.

Looking for more information and strategies on sticking to boundaries The 8 Parenting Guide Posts goes into more detail with more useful tips.